Le Diable Blanc
by EE's Skysong
Summary: AU Rogue is a demon slayer on assignment in New Orleans. She ends up with an annoying assistant who refuses to tell her about himself. And then his past comes back to haunt him. But how can they fix it when he barely knows it himself?


Disclaimer: "Love and darkness and my sidearm..."

(An: This Romy is thanks to the InterNutter's "Meine Teufel", which gave me the plotbunny, and Goldylokz's "Nine to Five", which gave me Remy's past... sorta. I'm never gonna stop plugging and nicking. Deal with it.)

Rogue the Demon Slayer. The title had a certain ring to it. Rogue thought so, at least.

In this field of work, her powers came to some use, although draining a demon was painful and tiring.

But it was pretty much worth it, considering the hefty sums that came with slaying, and considering that being a Slayer meant people left you alone.

She was one of the best, that was for sure. No demon got away, ever.

Right now, Rogue was on a mission. She was sent to find and destroy a low-class demon known as a Nightshade in New Orleans. They killed off shock factor alone. When their victim was paralyzed with fear, they'd snap out their fangs and bite their heads off. Not very dangerous if you knew what you were dealing with, but considering as it haunted a preschool and looked like something out of a child's nightmare, it was causing a lot of problems. Three children had died already.

Rogue could take it. This would be an easy bounty.

She leaned her head back as she drove. She loved the feeling of the wind in her hair. Her hair and face were one of the few parts she didn't have to keep covered, and she was glad of it. She arrived at the place. Right away her demon detector went off, beeping like mad. She pulled it out, checking the radar. "Ten yards to the west," she said, heading in that direction.

Rogue stepped out of her car, looking around herself. The place looked well enough off. It was just an ordinary preschool, nothing to see here folks, please move along.

It was more or less normal, in other words. She knew, however, that as soon as she stepped onto the playground, the thing would attack her. She loosened her dagger in its sheath and walked through the gate. It was so quiet here. The place had been cleared out after the third attack. _You'd think they'd get the idea earlier._ She frowned and drew her dagger, thinking she heard something. She looked around. There was nothing. Why hadn't the Nightshade attacked her?

There was a noise behind her. Rogue turned, seeing a creature jump out from the shadows. _It snuck up on me!_ She slashed at it but it was just a bit late for that. The thing already had its fangs out and was about to bite her. Then, there was a muffled explosion and the thing blew up. "What the-" A gloved hand covered her mouth.

"Now, now, _chere_," said a male voice near her ear. "No swearin'. This is a children's school, after all." The hand removed itself.

Rogue whirled. "What the hell do you want!"

The man standing there held up his hands. He was tall, lean, and muscular, with brown hair that stuck out some sort of black headband thing. It stopped just short of falling in his eyes, which were covered by sunglasses. "Oh, come now, _chere_, is that any way to treat your rescuer?"

She glared at him. "I don't need your help," she said. "I do just fine on my own!"

The man took off his sunglasses and smirked when she gasped. The man had a demon's eyes, red on black. _Is he a half or somethin'? This doesn't make any sense! Why would a demon help me, of all people?_

"_Chere_, both you and Remy know that thing woulda killed you if Remy hadn't stepped in," said the guy.

_Why would a demon tell me his name?_ Demons never gave up their identities willingly; it gave people power over them. "It was just a Nightshade, for cryin' out loud!"

"A what?" asked the guy, blinking.

Rogue ignored him. No one could not know what a Nightshade was; it was one of the most common demons. "Do you have any idea who I am!"

"_Non_," said the guy with a shrug. "Care to enlighten me?"

"I'm Rogue. The Demon Slayer? World-famous for stoppin' that gryphon invasion two years past?"

The guy shrugged again. "Just don't ring a bell, _chere_."

"My name is Rogue! What do you want anyway?"

"Well, now that you mention it, there is one thing Remy want..." said the guy, giving her a sly look.

"Which would be...?" asked Rogue. She never left a debt unpaid; it made nasty loose ends.

"Let Remy travel with you, _si vous plait_. Remy may not know much about you, but what can he say? You intrigue me," said the guy.

"Why should I do that?" demanded Rogue.

"Well, first 'cause you owe Remy for savin' y-"

"I _don't_ need your help!"

"Remy is not sayin' you do, _chere_," he said with a small smirk. "Remy is just sayin' that sometimes it's nice to have someone to look after you, _non_?"

Rogue just glared at him.

"Well, then, of course there's that little invasion of outlaw chimaeras that Remy just happen to know about, and then there's those rebellious erumpants in Brazil... All Remy wants to do is help you, _chere_."

"How did you find out about those?" asked Rogue, startled.

"Remy has his sources..." said the guy. "So, _chere_, we got a deal?"

Rogue closed her eyes, scowled, and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Ugh. I do owe ya, I guess. And I need an assistant. C'mon," she said, heading for her car.

"Oh, this is goin' to be _fun, chere._"

_Oh Lord. What have I gotten myself into?_

THE NEXT DAY...

Rogue groaned as she leaned back in her seat. "I cannot _believe_ an Erumpant rammed my car," she muttered.

"Happens to the best of us, _chere_," said Remy, smirking at her. "Surely you're not _bored_?" The idea of Rogue bored seemed to amuse him beyond all portent. This combined with the smirk made her want to hit him. Hard.

"My _name_ is Rogue, swamp rat," said Rogue, glaring at him.

"Ah, but _chere_ suits you so much better, does it not?"

"I'll have to go with not on that one, swamp rat."

"But _chere_ has her nickname for Remy, why can't he have one for his Rogue?"

"Shut _up_, swampy."

"Swampy?" echoed Remy, utterly confused.

Rogue hid a smile behind her magazine.

A FEW HOURS LATER...

"My car!" cried Rogue, inspecting it.

"It just a car," Remy observed, leaning against the wall as Rogue circled it.

"You're a guy, you should understand. This car's my _friend_," said Rogue. She gave the hood an affectionate pat.

"I'm more of a motorcycle guy, myself," said Remy, and Rogue noticed it was the first time he'd spoken entirely in first person since she'd met him.

"I like those too," Rogue admitted, grabbing the keys from the stunned mechanic. "But I can't afford one."

"So I'll steal one for you," Remy suggested, joining Rogue in the car.

Rogue rolled her eyes. "That's _so_ sweet, really," she said, driving out. 

Remy smirked at her. "It'd be fu-un," he said.

"Sorry, I'm not a minor anymore. With my record, my ass'd be in jail before you could blink," said Rogue.

"You're kiddin', right?" asked Remy, looking slightly impressed.

"No, I smashed a lot of buildings once," said Rogue, a faint smile on her face.

"_Really_," said Remy, sounding a good bit more impressed now.

"What, is that some kind of status thing with you?" asked Rogue, the smile more than faint now.

"It is in New Orleans," said Remy, grinning.

Rogue couldn't help it; she laughed. "God, you're insane," she said, her tone affectionate.

"Is that a compliment?" asked Remy.

"Sort of," said Rogue.

"Then I'm glad to be," said Remy with a smirk. "So, then, what was up with the mechanic? He looked like he recognized you or somethin'."

"He probably did. I told you, I'm kind of famous 'cause I eradicated about a thousand gryphons by myself," said Rogue. She would've shrugged but didn't feel like crashing her car after just getting it fixed.

"Ok, so what's a gryphon?" asked Remy, looking confused.

"Ok, you know what an erumpant and a chimaera are, but you don't know what a gryphon or a Nightshade is?" asked Rogue, disbelieving.

"_Non_," said Remy. "My knowledge is all learned the hard way, _chere_."

"Oh really," said Rogue, taking this as an opportunity to learn more about Remy. "And how do you learn anythin' in the first place?"

Remy shrugged. "Eh, livin' in New Orleans you learn a lot," said Remy. He was hedging, and he was good at it.

However, Rogue had done a lot of hedging herself and she knew the best way to get a straight answer was to change the subject right away. "So what's the deal with your eyes?" she asked. "Curse, half-demon in the family, what?"

Remy blinked, looking rather taken aback. "Er, it's just a result of my mutation, I think," said Remy. "Oh, you're evil," he said, realizing how much she could make him reveal about himself through this method. "I blow things up," he said with a sigh. "Don't know how I do it, but I do. Can't blow up people or animals or plants, just things. You are SO evil."

"I know. My friends at home tell me that every single day," said Rogue.

"Your friends sound like an interesting bunch," said Remy, leaning back in his seat.

"Yeah, well, they're mostly Slayers, so you get the idea," said Rogue.

"_Oui_, I think I do," said Remy, smirking. "So what're your powers?"

Rogue made a face. "My powers aren't as cool. If I touch people skin-on-skin I drain their energy, memories, powers, like that."

"So that would explain the constant cover-up," said Remy with a slow nod.

"Yep," said Rogue, her tone flat.

"Why is it all the pretty girls have to have the dangerous powers?" said Remy.

"Shut up or I'll introduce Remy Jr. to the business end of my favorite stake, got that?"

Needless to say Remy shut up post-haste.

THAT NIGHT...

Remy was lying on his bed in their hotel room, staring up at the ceiling and generally looking melancholic.

"What's your problem?" Rogue asked him, eyebrow raised.

"Eh, nothing," said Remy, waving a hand at her. "Dealin' with demons always makes me reminiscent."

She turned to face him. "About what?" she asked. She wasn't sure what it was, but she liked learning more about him, for some weird reason.

Remy got a bitter little smile on his face. "Oh, you know, the prettiest crucifixes thrown at my head, possible meaning's for words yelled at me if I try goin' into a church, stuff like that."

Rogue stared at him. "...What?"

Remy sat partway up, propping himself on one elbow and looking at her now. He made a vague gesture at his eyes. Rogue noticed that they glowed in the dim light of the room. "Growin' up... like this... in a town like New Orleans, on the streets, lots happens to you. Not much is... nice."

"I think they look nice," Rogue informed him, her eyes pointedly on her book. "They suit you." Rogue didn't see the sharply inquisitive glance that Remy shot her.

TWO WEEKS LATER...

Rogue parked her car in front of the Institute. "This where you live?" asked Remy, looking at the mansion.

"Sort of," said Rogue, getting out and walking up to the gate. "I used to, and this is where all my friends live. I want to ask the professor if there's any jobs I could be doin'."

Remy followed her through the gates and into the mansion, where Rogue was tackled by what appeared to be a flying blue fuzzball.

"_Guten tag, meine sweister_," said the fuzzball cheerfully, gazing down at her and grinning.

"Get off me, you menace," said Rogue, but she was laughing. She shoved the blue boy off her. "Kurt. What have I told you about tacklin' me?"

The boy didn't look at all dissuaded. His grin widened as he stood up and brushed himself off. Then he noticed Remy. "Hello," he said, his tone still cheerful but just a tad cautious now.

Rogue stood up. "Oh, sorry guys. Remy, this is Kurt," she said, pointing at the blue boy. "Kurt, this is Remy, my... um, assistant, I guess."

"You guess?" asked Kurt, cocking his head as he inspected Remy.

Remy put on his sunglasses as way of reply to the inspection.

"Well, he kind of... won't leave," said Rogue. "Not that I mind, but-" she shrugged. "I have yet to figure out what it is he does, besides keep me amused."

"With what, my witty banter?" asked Remy.

"With your idiocy," corrected Rogue, but she was smiling.

"Oh, Rogue, I almost forgot!" said Kurt, tugging on her arm. "_Katzchen's_ here and so is Evan and-"

"All right, I get it, it's a convention," said Rogue. She didn't exactly look thrilled at meeting with these people, whoever they were. "Is Logan here at least?"

"_Ja_, him too," said Kurt, bobbing his head. "C'mon!" He ran off down the hall.

"Is he really related to you?" asked Remy.

"Our mom got around," said Rogue, grinning as though about an injoke.

Remy shook his head. "I'm never goin' to understand you, am I?"

"How could you, when I barely understand myself?" replied Rogue as she followed after Kurt.

Remy blinked and then walked after her.

Sitting in the room Kurt led them to on a couch were four people, all arguing about some game that was on the tv. There was a girl with brown hair and gigantic blue eyes, a black guy with blond hair, a very short, very hairy man, and a redhead who was rolling her eyes at it all.

"Hey guys," said Rogue, perching on the arm of the couch. "What's the score?"

Both guys and the blue-eyed girl said in unison, "5 nil."

Remy leaned on the back of the couch, trying to figure out what they were arguing about. It was harder than it sounded because they kept interrupting each other.

Then a commercial came on, and they all seemed to notice Rogue at the same time. "Why didn't you say she was here?" they all yelled at Kurt, who merely flashed a fang-filled grin.

The brown-haired girl glared at Kurt, then turned to Rogue. "Like, hi, Rogue," she said. Her voice was distinctly perky. "When did you get in?"

"Five minutes ago," said Rogue. She blinked, and then remembered Remy. "Oh, God, Rem, sorry." She pointed at each of the people in turn, "Kitty, Evan, Logan and Jean. Guys, this is Remy."

Remy blinked. "Eh heh, _bonjour_," said Remy, with a small wave.

"Where'd you pick up Gumbo?" asked Logan, eyeing Remy.

Remy raised an eyebrow at the nickname.

Rogue rolled her eyes. "New Orleans, where else?" She glared at her friends as they continued to stare and they quickly turned back to the game. "Why are you guys all here anyway?" 

"Slayer's convention," they all said in unison.

"Oh Lord, I didn't miss it?" said Rogue with a groan.

"Sadly, ya did," said Logan. "It was borin' without your commentary, Stripes."

Rogue did a little victory dance. "Yes!"

"I'm so confused," Remy muttered.

"We're all confused," said Evan with a sage nod.

"Amen brother," agreed all of the others- minus Remy this time- in unison.

"Do they talk like that a lot?" Remy whispered to Rogue.

"Uh-huh," said Rogue, nodding. "It comes from living in the same house for about three years."

"A house full of teenagers with strange powers and pointy objects," said Remy, disbelieving. "This place must be a madhouse."

"You have no idea, Gumbo," said Logan with a sage nod.

"Who are you again?"

A FEW HOURS LATER, ROGUE'S FLAT...

After spending time catching up with her friends (they never did find the professor), Rogue headed for home.

Remy looked around as they walked in. "Nice," he commented.

Rogue shrugged. "God, I haven't dusted here in ages," she said, inspecting a finger after rubbing it on a chair. Seeing Remy's questioning look, she explained, "I don't come here much. I just keep it so I have somewhere to come home to. Less hassle than stayin' at a hotel."

Remy nodded.

"Come on," she said, leading him upstairs. She pushed open a door. She sneezed. "O think it's a little dusty, but we're only hangin' out here for a night or two," she said, stepping aside.

Remy set his stuff down. He surveyed the room, then gave Rogue a hopeful look. "When do we eat?"

A FEW HOURS LATER...

"Swamp rat!" Rogue yelled, knocking on his door.

"_Quoi_?" was Remy's reply.

Rogue pushed the door open. "Where-?" She blinked, and noticed the small red lights beneath the bed. She bent down. "Why are you under the bed?"

Remy pointed upwards. "I was playin' solitaire and I dropped one of my cards," he explained. "I couldn't reach it from where I was sittin', so I went under here, and I found all this weird stuff!"

"Well, that makes sense," said Rogue. "I told you, I don't clean here much. Now come on, my meetin' with the professor's in twenty minutes."

"_D'accord_," said Remy, pushing a large book out in front of him. "What's this?"

She gave the book a look-over. "I've nevah seen it before." She attempted to open the book. A blue glow radiated from it. "Ow!" She dropped the book, her gloves singed.

Remy blinked at her, bemused.

"Ok, I _know_ I never saw that before," said Rogue, gingerly prying off her gloves. She shoved her hands in her pockets. "I think I'd remember a book that bites."

"It didn't do anythin' to me," Remy said.

"Well, then, you try it," said Rogue with a shrug.

Remy flipped open the book. Nothing happened.

"Ok..." said Rogue. "That's-" She stopped as she inspected the book. She looked up at Remy, her eyes wide. "Do you know what this is?"

"Why would I bother to ask you if I did?"

"This is a spellbook- a necromancer's, no less! Do ya have any idea how bad it is that you can open it?"

"Am I supposed to?"

"God, you're clueless," she said, shaking her head. "All right. Take the book and meet me downstairs. I've gotta get my gloves."

Remy shrugged and picked up the book, utterly confused by the whole matter.

"Just my luck," muttered Rogue, putting on a spare pare of gloves. "I get an assistant who's got necromancer heritage. Can I do _anythin'_ right?"

A LITTLE BIT LATER, AT THE INSTITUTE...

Remy was carrying the book under his arm, following Rogue to the professor's study. Xavier looked up and smiled when he saw them. "Ah, yes, Rogue, I noticed you managed to avoid the Slayer convention once again. That's how many years in a row now?"

"Five," said Rogue in an almost proud tone. "But that's not the point. Professor, I got an assistant. This is Remy. Remy, Professor Xavier."

Remy shifted the book and gave a small wave.

"That's excellent, Rogue," said the professor, looking pleased.

"Look, I don't know how to explain the problem. Remy, show him."

Remy blinked, and then set down the book on Xavier's desk. He flipped it open. "And I'm takin' it that's a bad thing," he said.

The professor examined the book for a moment, then looked up. "Oh yes, a very bad thing indeed."

Remy shifted from foot to foot, his expression uneasy. "So, um, what's a necromancer anyway?"

"God, you're such an idiot," Rogue muttered.

"A necromancer is a warlock who can resurrect the dead and control their bodies," said the professor quietly.

"Ah," said Remy, rubbing the back of his neck. "That explains quite a bit."

"All right," said the professor. "Who are your parents?"

Remy bit his lip, looking even more uncomfortable. "Don't know. Remy adopted."

Both the professor and Rogue looked bothered by that fact.

"That's another bad sign, isn't it?" asked Remy, his eyes fixed on his feet.

"Yep," said Rogue.

"It means your lineage is untraceable," said Xavier. "DNA testing is useless on first generation mutants. The mutant DNA wouldn't match the parents."

"And Remy assumes he fits the criteria for that too," said Remy.

"Yep," repeated Rogue.

"_Magnefique,_" muttered Remy. "So, what now? Can I just ignore it or somethin'?"

"Maybe..." said Rogue, fiddling with her sleeve.

"I don't think I like maybes," said Remy, now looking at the ceiling.

"You think I do?" asked Rogue.

"So what do I do about it then?"

Xavier frowned. "Well..."

A WHILE LATER...

Remy sighed as Rogue dragged him out of the mansion. 

"So what're we doing now?" Remy asked, as Rogue got into the car.

"Number one: We're leavin' the bitin' book with Hank so he can restrain it. Number two: We are goin' to find a demon so I can kill it, and number three: We are goin' to pretend we never found out you had necromancer heritage, you got all that?"

"Why didn't you just say that when we found the book?" Remy asked.

"'Cause I didn't know it belonged to the most powerful necromancer in the world," Rogue snapped as she started the car. "We are goin' to pretend we never found anythin' out because we sure as _hell_ don't want to attract his attention, got that?"

"_D'accord, d'accord,_" said Remy, leaning back in his seat.

"Speak _English_, bayou boy, or I swear I'll bring out Mr. Pointy," Rogue replied.

"What? Don't you speak French?"

"Barely," Rogue said. "I got pulled outta high school in favor of Slayer trainin'."

Remy sat up. "Now _that's_ interestin'. So... how about I teach you then?"

"Why would I want to spend more time talkin' to you than I already do?"

"Because otherwise I'll speak French all the time. For example: _Vous semblez belle aujourd'hui._"

Rogue shifted her grip on the steering wheel and slapped Remy.

"Hey! I didn't do anythin'!"

"Yes, you did. I can tell when I'm bein' hit on, even when it's in a language I don't understand."

"I gave you a compliment."

"In your case, that translates to hittin' on me."

"Right..."

"Just shut up and enjoy the view, ok?... The view is _not_ me! I meant the bluffs!"

THE NEXT DAY...

Remy looked around the small cafe Rogue had brought them to. "So... why are we here?"

Rogue pointed at a guy in the corner. "Him."

"...Why are we here?"

"I don't think I can overstate how much of an idiot you are. That guy is a shapeshifter. A djinni who goes by the name of Doom."

Remy raised his eyebrows.

"Yeah, I know it's weird. But he's a pyschotic assasin-for-hire and the word is he's got his sights on me."

"So... why are we here?"

Rogue slapped him. "We're here to beat him to the punch, you idiot! We're gonna take care of him!"

"What do you mean, 'we'? I don't even know what a 'djinni' is."

"True... basically as my assistant you get to hold my spare sword."

"Um... ok... So what do we do now?"

"Wait for him to catch on... five... four... three... two... one..."

"Excuse me..." said the guy.

"Nice," said Remy.

"Yeah?" said Rogue, not looking up from her coffee.

"All right," said the guy. "Let's go outside."

Rogue shrugged and stood up, she and Remy following the guy outside.

The man cocked his head. "All right," he repeated. "You know who I am, I know who you are, so let's skip the formalities, hmm?" He shapeshifted into a bear-like creature with glowing yellow eyes. "Now look, here's the deal: My employer wants your lackey." He thumbed at Remy.

"Hey! I'm not a lackey... I'm not gettin' paid."

Rogue elbowed him. "Shut up," she hissed. "Be more specific. Who is 'your employer?'"

Doom rolled his eyes. "See if you can guess."

"Ugh... is it Mags or Mystique this time?"

"Neither, actually," said Doom. "It's a guy named Essex." At this, Remy stiffened, though neither noticed. "I'm not here to fight- just to say that if you want to keep your lives, you'd do well to meet him at his terms."

"Why?" Rogue snapped.

"Because he's more powerful than either of you, and doesn't wish to hurt you if it can be avoided," Doom responded in a bored voice. "It's really very simple: you come with me, Essex takes a few samples and runs a few tests, and both of you go free, none the worse for wear. And also Essex won't send a legion of the undead to utterly destroy you, of course."

Rogue raised her eyebrows. "And...?"

"That's it," Doom said. "He'll even dissuade other necromancers from coming after him," he added, nodding at Remy.

"Don't do it," Remy whispered, now standing behind her. "I know him. This guy's bad news."

"Wasn't gonna," Rogue retorted, also in a whisper. "I don't negotiate with criminals. I just want to get rid of this guy. He bugs me." Then, to Doom, she said, "All right, we'll come."

Doom smirked and transformed back into the guy from the cafe. "Smart choice. Essex is keeping his lab at a certain address." He pressed a piece of paper into Rogue's hand. "Go there. I'll know if you don't." He walked off, tipping them a wink.

Rogue checked the paper. "Hey, this is by New Orleans."

"_Oui_," said Remy, sounding uncomfortable.

"What is the matter with you, swamp rat?" Rogue asked. "Ever since he mentioned that Essex guy you've been all jumpy."

"I said I know him," Remy repeated. "He's kept up at my hometown for quite a while, see."

"So why in the world would you know a necromancer?"

"One, I didn' know what the hell a necromancer was until yesterday, remember? And two, it was impossible to be a mutant in New Orleans and _not_ know about him. Who's Mags and Mystique, by the way?"

Rogue growled. "A couple of idiotic would-be villains who want me, or more specifically, my powers. Mags- Magneto's his real name- wants to get rid of the humans and Mystique- well, she adopted me."

Remy winced. "Nothin' worse then havin' a pyschotic relative after you, is there?"

"Yeah- how would you know about that?"

"It's a long story, _chere_," said Remy with a shrug and a crooked smile.

"Someday, you owe me a proper explanation," Rogue replied, and walked back to her car. "Come on, swamp rat. We gotta book."

Remy hopped into the passenger side without another word.

A FEW HOURS LATER...

Remy, staring out the window, sighed. 

Rogue glanced over at him. "Ever since Doom mentioned that Essex guy you keep actin' like you expect somebody to jump down from the sky and hack us to pieces."

"You don't know Essex. It sounds innocent enough, _oui_, but this guy- he's not the kind of guy you want to make a deal with. He runs experiments on any mutant stupid enough to come too close to his lab-thing."

"I told ya, swamp rat, I don't make deals. I just want to go there and finish off Doom."

"Oh, _oui_," said Remy, now with a trace of a smile.

"Besides, if this guy's as bad as you say he is, then it might be a good idea to try and get him to relocate. I don't want him around nibblin' at my border."

Remy looked over at her, a bit confused. "_Your_ border?"

"Slayers divide the country into quadrants," Rogue explained, her tone dismissive. "Those people at the mansion- all Slayers. Logan and a couple others watch Canada, Kitty keeps track of Illinois, Evan watches New York, Jean helps run the mansion- there's even one of ours in Africa. Xavier's mansion ain't the only place to find Slayers, but we've got the most numbers on their side, see. They leave me a good bit of the South- me and this guy Sam, but I haven't seen him in a few months. It's where we're from, so we know it best, get it?"

Remy nodded.

"Now, I've filled ya in on me. It's your turn."

Remy fidgeted. "Must I? Really? It's _tres_ complicated... and rather stupid at some points."

"Trust me, swamp rat. You couldn't have more skeletons in your closet than I do. I've got a psycho terrorist for a mom, a fuzzy elf for a brother, and my real parents disowned me when I nearly killed the first guy who tried to kiss me. Try me."

Remy leaned back in his seat, thinking. "Ok, fine. But do me a favor?"

"Yeah?"

"When you hear about my life, don't dropkick me halfway across the country, all right? Most of the things I did weren't my idea."

"That's not exactly the best thing to start a story with, swamp rat."

"Just remember, _chere_, you asked for it. _D'accord_." He thought a bit more, then spoke. "I got dumped on a doorstep as a baby 'cause of my eyes. I scrounged for a livin' on the streets until I picked the wrong pocket. It belonged t' Jean-Luc LeBeau.

"He thought I had brass and took me on. Ended up adoptin' me." Remy didn't exactly seem thrilled about that. "Turned out he ran the Thief's Guild- a big underground orginization that was made up of most of the thieves in N'Awlins. Also turned out there was a rival Guild- the Assasins. They were feudin'- had been so long nobody remembered why. They figured out a way to fix it. It involved me, big time. All of this was before my powers kicked in, mind." He trailed off.

"So what'd they make you do?"

He pulled a face. "I had to get married."

Rogue choked. "Oh, I get it now. For you, that must've been like a death sentence."

"You want to hear it or not?" Remy snapped.

"Go on, go on," Rogue replied, letting go of the steering wheel and twirling her fingers.

"The leader of the Assasin's Guild had a daughter- Belladonna." He twitched slightly. For some reason, the idea of Remy with another woman made her want to twitch as well. "There was some obscure law that said if members of the opposite Guild got married, they couldn't attack each other or somethin'. This where the real _merde_ starts. I didn't mind Belladonna- besides, for five years all I had drummed into my head was 'It's for the good of the Guilds'. But I was nervous as hell on the day of the actual weddin'. I was holdin' the ring and- well, I charged it. I didn't know it, 'course, and when I gave it to my brother, it blew up. Big time. Not like what I threw at that Nightshade. The explosion was big enough to bring down half the chapel. I ran. You gotta understand- I was terrified."

"I'd be too if anythin' I touched blew up," Rogue agreed.

"I ran out into the bayou, and..."

"And?"

"That's where I met Sinister," Remy mumbled, his head down. "Essex likes to go by 'Mr. Sinister' when dealin' with mutants, I guess."

"You mean you met this guy before, and not just by reputation?"

"_Oui_. This was a few years ago- he'd just set up shop. Imagine it. You're scared, you're tired, and you have no idea what the hell's goin' on, and then this guy comes up and offers to take it all away."

"From what I've heard, Essex ain't exactly a normal lookin' guy."

"He has some thing that changes his appearance- he didn't look all spidery when I met him. He was just some freaky guy offerin' me a way out. 'One little prick with a needle,' he said, 'and this'll all go away.'"

"So what'd you do?"

"He had this syringe in a box. In it was some kind of chemical that would leaven my powers. I stole it and ran. I didn't trust the guy, but I didn't want to leave a trail of explosions behind me, either. So since then I been a thief for hire, tryin' to stay as far away from New Orleans as possible."

"So why were you there when I was?"

Remy shrugged. "Client. Like I said, this was a few years ago, and the job was simple. I just had to deliver it, and then I could leave. Meetin' you was a perk. The bad thing is, that guy's been after me for a while. I go anywhere near there and one of his goons shows up, beggin' repayment. Very, very creepy."

"So that explains a lot..." Rogue murmured. "Why's he runnin' experiments on our kind though?"

"From what I've heard about it, he's tryin' to breed a super-mutant. Somethin' like that."

"Oh, God," Rogue mumbled.

"_Quoi_?"

"Mutants killed and then resurrected keep their powers. He creates a super-mutant, then kills it- he'd be unstoppable. But why's he after you?"

Remy looked uncomfortable. "When my powers weren't tampered with, I was powerful. I ain't braggin', it's just the way it was. The ring's charge spread into the chapel- that's why it was so disastrous. Probably he'd just like havin' a mutant mimic that could blow up anythin' it couldn't get close enough to touch."

Rogue groaned. "Why is it that whenevah I go in for somethin' small it always seems to explode?"

"Maybe-"

"That was _rhetorical_, you idiot!"

THE NEXT DAY...

"Well," said Rogue, stepping out of her car, "we're here."

"Forgive me for not soundin' thrilled," Remy muttered.

The building at the address was unassuming, a gigantic warehouse with nothing to set it apart from anything else. "Not much of a place," Rogue commented. "He's better than most, I'll give him that." She knocked and waited.

A guy answered the door, his blond mop of hair hanging in his face. He smirked. "Ah, you two." He turned and gestured for them to follow. Remy and Rogue shrugged and headed after him. The warehouse was larger than it looked, the guy leading them through so many generic hallways that it was impossible to tell which way they were going or how long they'd been walking. Finally, he stopped in front of a larger door than the rest. "The boss is in here," he explained, and walked off.

"Nothin' to it but to do it, I guess," Rogue said, and knocked again. The door swung open.

"Come in, please," said a smooth voice from in the room.

They complied. Sitting at the desk was a creepy looking guy. Normal, but still creepy. "Hello."

Rogue glared at him. "Do me a favor, cut the crap."

Essex chuckled. He pressed a button on his watch. His illusion dropped, revealing a rather unpleasant looking man with pale skin, spider-leg-like black extensions on his back, and a ruby in the middle of his forehead. "Certainly. To you this is just business, isn't it?"

Rogue just stared at him. "Can we get on with this please?"

"Of course," Essex said, being very willing. He stood up, and said, "Follow me."

Remy stuck close to Rogue as Essex led them along still more hallways. "I don't like this," he murmured near her ear.

Rogue had to swallow before she could think of something to say. "Back off, you freak," she replied, glaring. "And would you stop bein' so damn paranoid?"

Remy shut up, but stayed in close quarters to Rogue.

Essex led them down one more hallway and into a room filled with a bunch of display cases. "My inventions," he explained, with a careless gesture at them.

Neither of them noticed Remy paying extra attention to a certain case and getting a small, secretive smirk on his face.

A FEW MINUTES LATER...

The room he led them into was gigantic, cavernous... basically, lots and lots of empty, echoey space. _Tryin' to impress us, is he?_ Rogue thought, rolling her eyes. The ceiling was a giant stained glass window supported by a mushroom-ish pillar in the middle of the room.

The main feature of the room was a little table with a box on it. Essex walked up to the box. "Mr. LeBeau, I think, might recognize this." Remy just rolled his eyes. He flipped the box open, revealing a syringe. He turned to Rogue, putting a hand under her chin.

Rogue took a step back, looking disgusted. Remy's hand clenched into a fist. He shoved it into his pocket.

Rogue shot Essex a death glare. "Ok, seriously, if you're tryin' to convince me to help you, this is _not_ helpin'."

Essex shrugged, a rather nasty smile on his face. "If you'd rather not, I understand perfectly," Essex murmured. "But really, it'd be so much easier if you just took the shot. One little shot and those troublesome powers of yours are gone... forever."

Rogue stared at him, obviously not buying it.

Essex sighed, closing his eyes and holding out his hands in a "What-can-you-do?" gesture. "Why is it that whenever I try to be reasonable, no one ever listens?"

Rogue raised one eyebrow.

"I need you, Rogue," he went on.

"For your creepy, I-wanna-conquer-the-world experiments, I know," Rogue cut in.

Essex chuckled. "No, no, you have it all wrong," he murmured.

"I'm _sure_," said Rogue. "Convince me."

"All of my experiments," Essex explained, "are to benefit mutantkind."

"...And this fits in with the whole 'necromancer' thing... how?"

Essex shrugged. "My experiments are rather... dangerous... I couldn't risk a living subject for most of them."

"So you resurrect corpses and submit them to even _more_ torture?" Rogue demanded, fire in her eyes.

Essex sighed. "I see that you aren't willing to cooperate."

"Damn straight I ain't, not with the likes of _you_," Rogue snapped. She reached into her coat and palmed her dagger. Remy caught the movement and pulled out his card deck, shuffling them nervously.

"I always have to resort to force," Essex murmured, pressing a hand to his temple. One hand reached out and pressed a button on the wall.

"That can't be good," Remy whispered, right up next to her again.

"Will you _back off_!" Rogue hissed. She refused to admit that having Remy in such close proximity made her nervous. Besides, there was a lot else on her mind... like the door that opened in the wall, to reveal two people.

Essex gestured, and they started forward. "These are two of my most trusted... mmm, associates," Essex said. "I don't like to resort to violence... but they don't mind."

As they got closer, Rogue sucked in her breath, realizing what they were- Shades, people possessed by multiple spirits. Shades were nearly impossible to kill- it took a strike through the heart, and nowhere else.

Essex smirked and walked off, flicking his fingers in a wave.

The Shades got eerily identical evil smiles.

"What do we do?" Remy whispered.

"You... try not to get killed." She handed him the dagger she was holding, Remy's fingers lingering on hers for a moment as he took it. "If they get too close, fend them off, aim for the heart if you have to. We're headin' for the exit here."

"Right."

"Ok, go!" Rogue said, suddenly snapping her voice up from a whisper to a yell.

She and Remy ran for it, and the Shades were right there waiting. The Shades didn't have any real weapons, but a blow anywhere but the chest didn't really hurt them, and they were _fast_. 

Pretty soon they had Remy and Rogue backed up against the pillar. "We're screwed," Rogue whispered.

"Not if I can help it," Remy replied. "Stay close." He put an arm around her and pulled her in, and then pressed his hand against the pillar. The whole thing glowed a faint magenta.

"You're insane! That'll kill us all!"

"Just trust me, _chere, d'accord_?" He pulled his hand away and yelled, "Now jump!"

There was a deafening explosion and the sound of shattering glass, the screech of the Shades, and then silence. Rogue was very surprised to learn that she wasn't dead. Scratched and bruised, hell yes. Dead, no. Rogue looked up and realized that Remy hadn't quite succeeded- the pillar was charred, but not completely destroyed. Then she remembered something. _Remy!_ She glanced around, frantic, and found him, leaning against the pillar himself, looking as bedraggled as she felt but otherwise unhurt.

Rogue grabbed him. "The _hell_ were you thinkin', swamp rat!"

"Just read _Eragon_ a time too many, _chere_," Remy responded.

"That was _insane_!"

"True... but it worked."

"You didn't destroy the pillar, just the ceilin', genius."

"I wasn't tryin' to get the pillar, _chere_," Remy replied, shaking his head in mock sadness. "Just wanted a big boom."

"Well, that worked," Rogue muttered. She looked around. The Shades had disappeared, meaning they hadn't killed them. "We'd better get outta here," she said. "Essex'll send reinforcements, and God knows those Shades won't be happy when they pull themselves together."

"That," said Remy, "is a good idea."

A FEW HOURS LATER, SOMEWHERE IN LOUISIANA...

Remy and Rogue were both stretched out on sleeping bags on the ground. They knew they should've kept driving, since it was never a good idea to be in the vicinity of a pissed necromancer, but they were both too tired.

"I am **so** glad that's over," Rogue muttered.

"But it ain't," Remy replied. "He's still gonna be after us."

Rogue shrugged. "The professor can help us work somethin' out with that maniac. He's good at diplomacy."

"Diplomacy is when you talk and talk and come to an agreement that satifies neither side, right?"

Rogue laughed.

Remy glanced at her sharply. "Oh, _Dieu_," he mumbled, looking up at the sky instead.

"What's your problem?" Rogue said, raising an eyebrow.

"You're not supposed t' laugh at my jokes, _chere_," Remy replied. "It's one of the rules of the universe."

Rogue laughed again, rolling her eyes. "You have a very skewed view on the world, anyone ever tell you that?"

"Why're you in such a good mood, anyway? You haven't insulted me all night."

Rogue considered this for a moment. The immediate thought that had popped into her head, of course, was _Because you're alive_, but that wasn't a thing you said out loud. Not if you were the Rogue, anyway. "Eh, I'm just too tired to be evil to you. Ask me again in the morning."

Remy snorted.

They were quiet for a bit, and then Remy suddenly sat up. "I forgot something," Remy said. He fished around in his pockets. "I nicked something for you from Essex's storeroom when we were booking for the exit."

Rogue sat up as well, peering at him curiously. "Really?"

Remy nodded, and then grinned as he pulled out a watch. It wasn't that great of a find, black and kind of clunky, with lots of buttons.

This, naturally, failed to impress Rogue. "...We were in the storehouse of the world's most powerful necromancer... and all you got was a **watch**?"

Remy just got a secretive smile on his face. "Gimme your wrist."

"Don't make me wear that thing."

"Trust me, _chere_."

Now it was Rogue's turn to glance at him sharply. Then she rolled her eyes and held out her hand.

Remy clipped the watch onto her wrist, peering closely over her hand and pressing a few buttons on it. There was a high-pitched beep. "I, you know, feel funny..." Rogue murmured. She closed her eyes and shook herself. When she opened her eyes, she noticed that Remy had moved a little closer. Before she had time to think, Remy had pulled her closer and his lips were on hers.

She struggled a moment, until she realized one critical fact- _nothing was happening_. She broke off the kiss (a little reluctantly) and stared at him. "...The _hell_?" was all she could articulate.

Remy was smirking again. Usually that blatant smirk made her want to smack him, but now it made her want to grab him and return the favor. "Power negater, _chere_," he said. "Unlike you, I noticed it."

Rogue decided to act on her instincts for once. She grabbed Remy by the collar and kissed him. "Thanks."The disoriented look on his face was gratifying. "So does this change anything between us?" she asked, when he seemed to have recovered.

"Mmm, I wouldn't say so," Remy replied. He scooted over by her. "Not much, anyway."

"That works," said Rogue.

Remy pulled her close as they watched the sun set, a Slayer and her assistant, with benefits, naturally.

(Don't give me that look. I like the ending. Not the fight scene- as Remy insinuated that was copped shamelessly from Eragon, because I'm pathetic like that. I did imagine something more fluffy, once, but that didn't fit the mood of the fic. This did. Now, those of you who follow me may be wondering why it took me so long to write something that's not all that long. It did mainly because this went through three rewrites, all pretty much as long as this final draft. And I am NEVER working this hard on a fic again. That said, I'd like some feedback on this little labor. Like it? Hate it? Well, then, REVIEW, and tell me so!)


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